Dining at a steakhouse can be an enjoyable and refined experience, but understanding the etiquette is key. Here’s what you need to know:
- Reservations: Book ahead and arrive on time.
- Dress Code: Follow the restaurant's guidelines - business casual to formal is usually required.
- Ordering: Learn steak cuts, doneness levels, and wine pairings to make informed choices.
- Table Manners: Cut one bite at a time, use utensils correctly, and match your dining pace with others.
- Interacting with Staff: Be polite, clear about preferences, and tip 15–20% for good service.
Rules Everyone Should Be Following At A Steakhouse
What to Wear
Dressing appropriately enhances your steakhouse visit. Many high-end steakhouses have specific dress codes to create a refined and elegant atmosphere. Here's what you need to know to dress the part.
Dress Code Basics
Upscale steakhouses typically require attire ranging from business casual to formal. For example, Del Frisco's Double Eagle Steak House has clear rules against:
- Athletic or gym clothes
- Beachwear
- Oversized or baggy outfits
- Tank tops or sleeveless shirts
- Hats, beanies, and bandanas
- Clothing with offensive language [4]
"Perry's has a BUSINESS CASUAL Dress Code Policy in order to maintain an enjoyable environment for ALL guests. We thank you in advance for following these guidelines which will be enforced at our restaurants." [5]
Clothing Guide by Gender
| Occasion | Men's Attire | Women's Attire |
|---|---|---|
| Business Casual | Dress pants or chinos, button-down shirt, blazer, leather shoes | Dress pants or skirt, blouse, closed-toe shoes |
| Formal | Full suit with tie, dress shirt, formal shoes | Formal dress or elegant suit, heels or refined flats |
At business casual spots like Perry's Steakhouse, well-fitted jeans and dress shorts are allowed, but revealing sports bras and men's sleeveless tank tops are not [5].
Finishing Touches
To complete your look:
- Accessories: Opt for simple jewelry that enhances your outfit.
- Grooming: Maintain a polished appearance with neatly trimmed facial hair or a clean shave, and choose clean, pressed clothing.
When in doubt, it's better to overdress. Check the restaurant's guidelines beforehand. For instance, Ruth's Chris Steak House clearly states, "BUSINESS CASUAL – PROPER ATTIRE REQUIRED PLEASE", and bans gym clothes, pool attire, and overly revealing outfits [6].
How to Order
Steak Types and Cooking Levels
When ordering steak, it's all about knowing the characteristics of each cut. For example, ribeye is known for its rich marbling and bold flavor, while filet mignon stands out for its tenderness and mild taste [7].
| Cut | Best For | Characteristics |
|---|---|---|
| Ribeye | Fans of rich flavors | High marbling, juicy, bold taste |
| Filet Mignon | Lovers of tenderness | Extremely tender, lean, mild flavor |
| NY Strip | Balanced flavor seekers | Moderate marbling, beefy taste |
| Porterhouse | Big appetites | Combines strip and tenderloin |
You'll also want to specify your preferred level of doneness. Here's a quick guide:
| Doneness | Temperature (°F) | Description |
|---|---|---|
| Rare | 120–130 | Warm red center |
| Medium-rare | 130–135 | Pink with a red center |
| Medium | 140–150 | Light pink center |
| Medium-well | 155–165 | Slight pink middle |
| Well-done | 170+ | No pink, fully cooked |
Once you've chosen your steak and doneness, it's time to think about the perfect sides.
Best Side Dish Choices
Pairing your steak with the right side dishes can take your meal to the next level. Here are some timeless options to consider:
- Potatoes: Choose from au gratin, baked, or truffle mashed.
- Green vegetables: Favorites include creamed spinach, asparagus, or Brussels sprouts.
- Mushrooms: Go for sautéed wild mushrooms or stuffed mushroom caps.
"The easiest way to pair wine with beef is to think about matching the flavor intensity of your wine with your beef."
Wine Selection Tips
Your wine choice can elevate the entire experience. Here are some pairing suggestions:
- Ribeye: Opt for a full-bodied wine like a Syrah-based Côte-Rôtie.
- Filet Mignon: Pairs beautifully with lighter wines such as Pinot Noir.
- Spicy sauces: Go for smooth, rounded reds to balance the heat.
"A powerful California Cabernet Sauvignon with a grilled steak is pretty hard to beat."
- Karen MacNeil, US wine expert [8]
If you're unsure, Malbec is a versatile option that works well with most steak cuts. For creamy sauces like béarnaise, try an oakier wine to complement the richness.
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Table Manners
Using Dining Tools
When using dining tools, hold your knife in your right hand with your index finger resting along the back for better control while cutting. Use your left-hand fork to keep the meat steady [2]. In Europe, the fork typically stays in the left hand and the knife in the right throughout the meal. However, in the US, diners often set the knife down after cutting and switch the fork to their right hand [9].
How to Cut Steak
Once you're ready to cut your steak, it's important to do it properly. Here's how:
| Step | Action | Why It Matters |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Cut against the grain | Makes the meat easier to chew |
| 2 | Use smooth, steady sawing motions | Keeps the meat intact |
| 3 | Cut one bite at a time | Helps retain heat and juices |
| 4 | Hold the fork with tines down | Ensures stability for precise cuts |
"One of the rules to follow when dining at a steakhouse is to cut your meat as you go, avoiding slicing the meat all at once. That way, you can savor both your meat and your company, and your steak will not cool so quickly." - Bobby Huen [11]
Avoid cutting the entire steak at once. Instead, cut one bite at a time to keep it warm and flavorful. You can also check the doneness with a small initial cut before continuing [11][3].
Dining Speed and Talk
Maintaining a steady dining pace is just as important as proper cutting. Try to match your eating speed with your companions to keep the flow of the meal harmonious [1].
When it comes to conversation:
- Always finish chewing and swallow before speaking [1].
- Keep your voice at a moderate level to avoid disturbing others [10].
- If you need to take a phone call, step away from the table [10].
Steakhouses are meant to offer a relaxed and intimate dining experience [10]. Enjoy meaningful conversations with your companions while being considerate of those around you. This approach ensures everyone can appreciate the atmosphere and their meal.
Working with Restaurant Staff
Your steakhouse experience isn't just about the food - it also hinges on how you interact with the staff.
Talking to Servers
Building a good connection with your server can make your meal far more enjoyable. Be clear about how you want your steak cooked and share any dietary restrictions upfront [12]. Politeness goes a long way: ask about the cuts and preparation styles, explain your preferences, and take their suggestions into account.
Tipping Rules
Here’s a quick guide to tipping at upscale steakhouses in the U.S.:
| Service Level | Recommended Tip | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Standard Service | 20–22% | Expected for good service |
| Exceptional Service | 24–25% | For outstanding attention |
| Wine Service | +$5–10 per bottle | Basic sommelier assistance |
| Decanting Service | +$15–25 per bottle | For more complex wine handling [15] |
For larger parties or when the staff provides extensive wine advice, consider adding an extra 10% to your tip as a gesture of appreciation [15].
Problem Solving
If something goes wrong with your meal or service, speak up immediately. Let your server know exactly what the issue is, stay calm, and keep the conversation professional. If the problem isn’t resolved, you can discreetly raise your concerns with the manager. High-end steakhouses are usually quick to address and fix any problems [13][14].
End of Meal Protocol
Finishing Your Meal
When you're done eating, place your knife and fork together vertically on your plate. This signals to the staff that you're ready for your plate to be cleared. If you're finished before others, you can also place your napkin on the table as a subtle cue. However, it's polite to wait for everyone else to finish before moving forward.
Taking Food Home
If you'd like to take leftovers home at an upscale steakhouse, simply ask the staff politely. A phrase like, "Could you please pack this for me?" works perfectly.
Leaving the Restaurant
As your meal wraps up, settle the bill and thank the service staff for their attention. Tipping is typically 15–20% of the pre-tax amount. For instance, on a $100 bill, a $20 tip would be appropriate [16].
Conclusion
Main Points Review
Understanding steakhouse etiquette - like dressing appropriately, making reservations, and ordering your steak just the way you like it - shows respect for the restaurant and your fellow diners. Simple table manners, such as eating at a steady pace and cutting your steak one bite at a time, help maintain the flavor and temperature of your meal.
"A good steakhouse takes the sourcing and preparation of its meat very seriously, and according to Michelle Durpetti, as a diner, it's more than okay to want to know where that meat is coming from and how it was treated" [17].
These tips will help you feel more at ease during your next upscale steakhouse experience.
Next Steps
Start by browsing the steakhouse menu online to spot their standout dishes and learn about their steak program. Use what you've learned here to confidently ask your server about the steak's origins, aging process, and ideal wine pairings.
Practice handling utensils properly at home to boost your confidence. If you’re unsure about anything - whether it’s the dress code or wine selection - don’t hesitate to call the restaurant ahead of time.
Focusing on these details will not only make your own dining experience more enjoyable but also contribute to the refined atmosphere that makes steakhouse dining so memorable. While these tips may seem formal, they’re all about ensuring that everyone at the table can savor the moment.
